


Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

by sweetspicyhot



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-21 10:12:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6047730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetspicyhot/pseuds/sweetspicyhot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After slutting around his first three years of college at UT Austin, Jensen has an epiphany at his parents’ thirtieth anniversary and vow renewal during the summer break.  He decides to stop having sex altogether until he finds the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with. When he gets back to campus, Jensen forms In No Rush, a LGBT abstinence discussion group.</p><p>Jared is a gay freshmen who desperately wants to get laid.  He quickly falls in lust with Jensen and tries to persuade him to have sex with him.  He’s heard about the old Jensen and pretends to be more experienced to get into Jensen’s pants.  As his attempts to bed Jensen get more and more outlandish, Jared falls in love with Jensen, something he wasn’t expecting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is for the Spn Reversebang 2015 and is dedicated to Dulcetine who has been so incredibly awesome to work with. She has shown so much enthusiasm, kindness, and patience. Her art is outstanding. She is amazingly talented so please give her some love on her post [HERE](http://dulcetine.livejournal.com/194494.html) and let her know how awesome she is.  
> Also thank you to the mods of this challenge for doing a great job!  
> 

The sun shining on Jensen through the open window felt like the new day was slapping him not so gently in the face. In the vague recesses of his mind, the first thing he recalled was that he was not in his college dorm room, and that he was very, very late for an extremely important date. The mini-bar with a variety of tiny bottles strewn about the top attested to the fact that he had made good use of his temporary accommodations last night, as did the trail of clothes leading to the bed. Jensen rolled over as gingerly as he could. There was a warm, softly breathing human slumbering on, facing away from him, and that person had stolen most of the covers. Jensen quietly stole away to the bathroom to pee when he spotted a wallet on the dresser.

He took a quick peek at his bed-mate’s drivers’ license and thanked God for small mercies: male (check), pretty but at least a few months over 18 (check)—it was still too early to do complicated math but Jensen was still fairly certain, and most importantly, his conquest from last night was a registered organ donor. 

He took a quick shower, dressed, and set the hotel alarm for an hour before check out. He scrawled “thank you” on the back of the complimentary breakfast coupon and set it on the nightstand.

Jensen was going to be late to his parents’ anniversary brunch, and unlike birthdays and Mother’s Day and other unimportant events he had almost ruined, he would probably never live this down.

As he climbed up the steps of his childhood home, he was met with his brother’s mocking face and words of derision.

“You know, I didn’t think you would do the walk of shame today of all days. But I guess you wouldn’t be you otherwise.” His brother grinned. “Jesus, look at you! Did you have a one-night stand with a vampire last night? Mack, Jensen has to borrow some of your foundation.” Josh yelled up the stairway. 

“Again?” his sister cried out.

“Yeah, just bring the whole bottle—we’ll do what we can in the car!” Turning back to Jensen, Josh said with delight, “We’ve got fifteen minutes to get to the church. You and Mack sit in the back seat, she’ll fix you up.”

“I thought this thing wasn’t supposed to start until two.” Jensen frowned.

“Yeah, but the actual renewal of the vows is at one and we all have special parts and places where we need to stand. Christ, you need a mint,” his brother complained as he straightened out the collar of Jensen’s suit.

They made it to the church on time, and no mention was made of why the Ackles children collectively swooped into church together at the last minute. Josh propped his brother up and elbowed him when he got a little sleepy during the pastor’s remarks. So Jensen had no idea that his parents were displeased with his behavior until the end of his father’s speech at the brunch afterward.

“Love that is lasting can only be achieved with patience, compromise, and a true respect for the other person. I only hope that my children will find what their mother and I have.” His gaze fell solely on Jensen, as he concluded, “It is my greatest wish.”

Jensen found that he could not meet his father’s eyes. So instead he drained his champagne in one go, as everyone toasted the happy couple. Later, when Jensen was dancing with his mother, he cleared his throat and said wearily, “Dad’s pretty disappointed in me, and I’m not even sure what I did wrong. My grades are fine. So what if I’ve been enjoying myself. I’m in college, when you’re supposed to be a little loose.”

“Oh honey, your father’s just a little worried about you. Josh is already married and Mack takes dating so seriously.”

“And I think everything is one big joke?”

“No one said that. But this morning wasn’t the first time that you had to . . . pull yourself together,” she said with a grimace. “I think we both know what you’ve been doing hasn’t been fulfilling you. And your father and I are concerned that if you continue in this way you will deeply hurt yourself or someone else.”

“You’re right, Mama. I don’t want that to happen,” Jensen said, his voice laced with shame. “I’ll try to do better.” 

The next Friday he turned on the TV and watched as the nation, in large part, celebrated marriage equality. He watched couple after couple interviewed about how happy they were, how in love they were, some waiting a lifetime for this moment. Jensen strengthened his resolve. He would wait now, for the right person, for this next step. He was done with his old ways.

 

* * *

 

Jared was having an awesome dream. It was Fleet week and he had his choice of a Marine, an able-bodied Seaman, and some guy in the Coast Guard. God, you could bounce a nickel off of these guys’ . . . everythings. Jared was very professional. He had a clipboard and was conducting preliminary interviews. Most of the questions involved favorite sexual positions as well as possible dating options. He was leaning towards choosing the Marine, Semper Fi and all, when his sister’s voice shook him awake. She was shrieking. “I’m going to plan the whole thing for you! I’m thinking a purple and white theme—orchids, freesia, and lilac. It’s going to be so awesome! And Jared, you have to have an open bar and those little hot dogs and I’m going to wear Navy blue. I can’t wait!”

Maybe he should have gone with the guy from the Navy. He had one of those awesome ties on his uniform. He tried to go back to sleep so he could continue serving the men who served his nation, but his sister would not let him. 

She was standing in the doorway. “What are you going on about?” he muttered as he rubbed his eyes open.

“Your future wedding! You can now, you know. The Supreme Court said so!”

Jared shot out of bed and ran downstairs to the TV, grabbing a bowl, cereal, and the carton of milk on the way. He grinned as he took in all the smiles and the tears on the screen. His phone kept buzzing. Sure enough, all his friends from the GSA were calling him. Someday he would be able to get married. Right now, though, he just wanted to get to college, get laid and maybe get a boyfriend, in no particular order.

He answered the next call.

“Yeah, Chad, we are so going out to celebrate! Yes, Chad, to a gay club. I was your wingman last weekend so you owe me. Who knows? I might meet my future husband tonight.”

 

* * *

 

“Jay, will you slow down? I know that you are excited, but do you know what does not say ‘Awesome job, Supreme Court’? Puking all over your best friend.”

Chad tried to push the shot glass away from Jared, but Jared had the bottle in his hand and was not easily dissuaded. A drunk Jared was a super-animated Jared.

“Chad, I’m fine. I’m going to college soon and I’m gonna find him, my new boyfriend—the one I’m gonna have lots of sex with! Lots and lots of sex!” Jared gestured, making big windmill circles with his hands.

“The thing is, we aren’t going that far away. This bar is pretty close to campus and a lot of these guys are going to be in your classes, so slow down a little, enough so you can make your move. Also, I’m not lugging your big ass around, no more shots for you. I’m switching you to water right the fuck now.”

“Chad, look over there,” Jared whispered loudly, pointing at a definitely older, attractive student talking with some friends and the bartender. “That is the most beautiful man I have ever seen. You want me to make a move—all I need is a little help getting my hands on a microphone and setting the mood lighting. It will be just like that scene in Top Gun.”

“What, that guy at the bar is Kelly McGillis, and you are Tom Cruise? Jay, no, no man. This is such a bad idea. You’re slurring your words a little already. You’re going to butcher whatever song you sing. It’s not going to impress him,” Chad retorted.

“Shut up, Chad. You wishhh you could sing like me. He’s gonna know how I feel—gonna know it right now. He’s so sexy, want to get into those pants. And I know the perfect song!”

“Jay, wait!!”

 

* * *

 

“I can’t believe you made me come here tonight. School doesn’t start for another week. I could have stayed at my parents’ sleeping in, having breakfast cooked for me, my laundry done. I mean, I kind of owe my mom after the shit I pulled at their anniversary,” Jensen complained.

“About that Jen—you’re not seriously going to abstain from sex?” Mike said. “You are like the revolving door of one-night stands. You’re my own personal hero. I aspire to break the records that you set.”

“Well, you will have to find your inspiration somewhere else. I’m not having sex again until I find the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I don’t think I’m going to find him in college.”

“Did Jenny just say that he was done screwing around?” Chris asked from behind the bar.

“That he did.”

“Does anyone want to put any money down on how long he’ll last?” Aldis inquired.

“Ten bucks says that he doesn’t last the night,” Mike offered.

“Hey,” protested Jensen.

“Nah, twenty says he caves before midterms,” Chris said.

“I will take that bet and raise you twenty. I’m picturing a spectacular spring break breakdown,” Aldis said.

“Deal,” Chris agreed. “Mike gets tonight. I get anything between tomorrow morning and spring break. Anything after belongs to you. Maybe we should make this like a fantasy sports game and draft potential lovers.”

“I think I see someone coming this way. And he looks to be Jensen’s type: sparkly, young, and pretty,” Mike exclaimed.

“You just described the entire cast of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic.”

“If the shoe fits.” Mike shrugged.

“Ha ha, very funny. Oh shit, he’s coming over here! Maybe he isn’t interested in me and instead is going to hit on one of you guys,” Jensen said weakly. “Wait, what’s that in his hand? Chris, isn’t Karaoke night on Tuesdays?”

 

Suddenly the lights went low, and the tallest jailbait that Jensen had ever seen was staring seductively in his direction as he belted out the first line of a familiar song:

_“Let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on!_  
You got the healing that I want.  
Just like they say it in the song,  
until the dawn.  
Let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on.” 

This nightmare could not be real. Even a few months ago, Jensen would have enjoyed, even basked in the attention, because he knew where it would lead—to a mind-blowing sex marathon. But now, as karaoke boy moved closer, all Jensen felt was fear. He gave Jensen the come hither motion with his index finger. Jensen rolled his eyes, but his face turned scarlet as the guy sang the next few lyrics. 

_“We’ve got this king size to ourselves._  
Don’t have to share with no one else.  
Don’t keep your secrets to yourself.  
It’s Kama Sutra show and tell.” 

Then, in one graceful motion that belied his gangly limbs, he jumped up onto the bar like it was a balance beam and he was a world-class gymnast.

_“There’s lovin’ in your eyes that pulls me closer.  
It’s so subtle! I’m in trouble, but I’d rather be in trouble with you!”_

“He’s like a squirrel, or a ninja, or an amazon tree frog,” Mike shouted over the music.

“Like a circus performer—who performs on the wire—what’s that called again?” Chris added as he looked on in wonder.

“Tightrope walker. Jesus Christ, I’m not drunk enough for this,” Jensen muttered, burying his face in his hands, trying to avoid the train wreck in front of him.

_“I just want you for my own.  
I got to have you babe”_

He spun around, pointed at Jensen, and then--

“Did he just go into a split and pop back up again?” Chris stared disbelieving.

“Yep.” Aldis grinned.

The kid was now on his knees, moving the lower half of his body back and forth right in front of Jensen’s face. His hair was a sweaty mess, and his shirt was unbuttoned revealing the expanse of his chest. He went through the rest of the lyrics and hit the chorus again with vigorous passion. His eyes were shut; he was clearly giving this everything he had.

_“You’ve got to give it up to meeeeee!  
I’m screaming mercy, mercy please.”_

“Boy can’t sing, but he has mad moves and a body that doesn’t look like it’s going to quit anytime soon.”

“It seems to be all for you, Jen.” Aldis chuckled.

“Someone’s looking to get laid tonight,” Chris remarked.

“Fuck that, I want to change my bet to Mike’s. I get tonight—you can have spring break,” Aldis conceded.

Jensen looked at the kid writhing on top of the bar and all he could see were the faces of all his previous conquests, all his prior mistakes. He couldn’t make one more.

“I have to get out of here,” he gritted out. He slapped some money on the bar and ran out into the parking lot where he could finally catch his breath.

By the time Jared sang the last note and opened his eyes again, Jensen was long gone.

 

* * *

Jensen made his way back to his parents’ house at around 2am. Everyone in the house was asleep. Josh had gone home right after their parents’ vow renewal and Mack was staying over at a friend’s house that night, so it was just him and his parents. In a few days, he would be moving in with Chris and Aldis in an apartment near campus, subsidized by his parents but mainly paid for with Jensen’s wages from his job at the campus bookstore.

As he crept up the stairs, Jensen stared at the pictures of his family over the years. He remembered a time, not so long ago, when his parents were proud of him and his accomplishments. He got to his room, closed the door, and flopped down on the bed, fully clothed. He flailed around a bit, not knowing what to do with this restless feeling. His cock twitched at the thought of the young guy at the bar, all sweaty, putting himself on display, begging for Jensen’s attention. His friends were right, that kid was just his type. Christ, was he even legal? It didn’t take much to get a fake ID. Jensen had tried not to look, tried not to be tempted, had promised himself a new start. Still, tall, young and tousled hair had gotten under his skin and now he had to try and rid himself of this pinprick blood rush feeling running through his veins. He would probably never see the young man again, so he could indulge in fantasy this one time. Jensen reached into the drawer of his nightstand for some lube. Thank God Jensen’s mama insisted that her offspring learn to clean for themselves, because Jensen had lube stashed in about twelve different places in his childhood room. It had come in handy when he had snuck boys inside his parents’ house during his late teens. Right now, this was about self-love, and the unfinished business he had left at the bar. 

He didn’t bother to undress or get comfortable. He wanted it quick and dirty, because he felt dirty. Wanting to change his behavior was one thing, but all these impulses, they weren’t going to go away on their own. He lowered his zipper and shimmied his jeans and underwear midway down his thighs. He let out a little hiss as his fingers, dripping with lube, came in contact with his half aroused cock. He thumbed the head and imagined karaoke boy in a slightly different scenario—his nipples peaked, taut muscles on display, his rock hard cock pushing into Jensen. As the heat rose within him and his breath grew ragged, Jensen grew more forceful with himself, fisting with more intensity as he pushed himself sloppily towards his climax. He turned on his side, so he could reach behind and push the tip of his finger in his ass. The extra stimulation sent him over the edge, he came with a cry muffled into his pillow, come spurting out over the bedspread, onto his clothes, as he felt immediate relief and then a wave a shame crash over him. At least, he had gotten some of the irritation out of his system, and would be able to go to sleep now without too much trouble. He set the alarm so he’d wake up early and clean everything up. The night may have not gone how he wanted, but tomorrow morning he would be able to look his parents in the eye, and more importantly not be disappointed at who he saw when he looked in the mirror.

 

* * *

Chad caught up to Jared as he was on his way to his first class as a freshman at UT Austin. 

“Hey Jared, I got some information on your mystery man from the bar—you know the one who got away.”

“Chad, I’m on my way to my first college class ever. Can we talk about this later?”

“No, because this guy is perfect for your first time, and you don’t need to waste any time bagging him.”

“Bagging him? Seriously, is that what you think? I’m not going to just bang him and move on.”

“But that’s what he likes. He sleeps around, man. Ask anyone, and he rarely visits the same watering hole twice—ya know what I mean. No strings—perfect for what you want to get out of your system.”

“Chad, I’ve never done anything—have you forgotten? That night at the bar when I sang to him, I was drunk. I was lucky things didn’t go too far.”

“Yeah, okay—hey I would have stepped in if that was the case. But if you want this guy—Jensen Ackles, you can’t be the inexperienced virgin; that’s the last thing he wants. He wants someone who knows what he’s doing in the bedroom. Oh, and lucky for you, he exclusively bottoms.”

“Where are you getting your information from, Chad? Is there a sex blog about him out there somewhere?”

“I’m telling you, man—your boy gets around; so you better pretend that you got some, no, a lot in high school, or he’s not even going to look at you twice. Have I ever been wrong?”

“All the time.”

“About important stuff like this?”

“Well, no,” Jared admitted.

“Trust me.”

 

Jared didn’t have to wait long before running into Jensen. He hadn’t realized the older student worked at the campus bookstore. Jensen was looking delectable in a green apron that perfectly complemented his eyes. Jared was about to bound up to him and engage his crush in his usual geeky conversation about being new, and did he know any quiet study areas on campus, the best coffee, that sort of thing. Then he remembered Chad’s advice to him. He steeled himself, and approached the checkout with a mischievous grin, a slight swagger in his step, and about seven textbooks that he needed for his classes.

“I’m Jared, Jared Padalecki--you missed out on a great opportunity the other night.” Jared leered across the counter.

Jensen rolled his eyes. “Oh yeah, the exhibitionist from the bar. You were really wasted. See how I am perfectly fine with not taking you up on your sleazy offer?”

“Sleazy, I’ll have you know that I have to fight them off all the time. I was real popular in high school. Especially with the basketball team, if you know what I mean.” Jared _was_ popular with them, but it was because he always baked them cupcakes for after their games. Jensen didn’t need to know that tiny detail.

Jensen grimaced. “How wonderful for you. I would love to talk about your high school sexual exploits all day, however it is the first day of class, and there is quite a line forming behind you.”

Jared was normally easy going, but this was not going at all according to plan, and he was frustrated, so instead of stopping while he was behind, he pushed further blurting out:

“What, are you not attracted to me, am I that hideous?” Jared laughed and then lowered his voice. “Don’t worry, I can be discreet. I heard that you would be into this sort of thing, a one-night stand—no strings attached.” Jared felt his face go bright red as he realized by the shocked look on Jensen’s face that Chad might have been wrong. Jared knew instantly he had gone too far. He tried to backpedal, but the damage was done.

“Maybe I should buy these and we can get to know each other another time,” Jared said hopefully. 

“You know what?” snarled Jensen, “You can forget about your books. I’m not helping you and neither is anyone else today. You can come back tomorrow. I don’t know where you are getting your misinformation from, but just forget it. I mean, who talks this way to a complete stranger?” 

Jensen addressed the girl next to him. “Tanya, I’m taking my break.” He rushed outside, leaving a shocked Jared wondering why he trusted Chad in the first place, and how much groveling it would take to make things right.

 

Once Jensen got outside, he tried to calm down, a few hot tears spilled down his cheeks and rage built up inside him. Jensen vowed right then he would show everyone he was serious about changing his campus slut status.

Later on, after staring at the ceiling of his bedroom for a couple of hours, Jensen had an epiphany. He decided to form an abstinence discussion group. There he would surround himself with other people who wanted more than a quick fuck from their college experience. The next morning, he met with the Dean in charge of student activities and obtained a charter for IN NO RUSH—a group that would meet weekly focusing on topics surrounding abstinence and its role in healthy relationships within the LGBT community. 

 

* * *

Two weeks later, Jensen was all set for his first IN NO RUSH meeting. He had a dry erase board, several expo markers, nametags, and a bunch of icebreakers printed out on index cards. He had even purchased some soda and Doritos in case they got hungry. The meeting time was set for 4:30. At 4:15, Jensen was finishing his prepared remarks, public speaking did not come easy for him, but he wanted to make a difference, so here he was. At 4:25, he was pacing back and forth in the tiny classroom. He went to get a drink of water from the water fountain just outside. At 4:30, a shy smiling brunette appeared saying, “Hi I’m Rachel.” Three more students came in by 4:40: two guys and another girl. Jensen was happy with the turnout considering this was their first meeting. He launched into his prepared remarks about his own history and why he had decided to start this new discussion group. After about fifteen minutes, Jensen was concluding with “and that is when I decided to stop being the gay man driven by a wild sex drive and low self worth and became the gay man I wanted to be. Now I am waiting for the right person to become intimate with, and I don’t intend to have sex again until I find that person.” As Jensen finished speaking, the door opened revealing six eager young men.

“Is this the bulk condom giveaway?”

“No, that’s one floor down, directly below this room” Jensen said, mildly annoyed at the interruption. Apparently at the end of last year, the main LGBT organization on campus had an abundance of cash left which they were mandated to spend. At the beginning of this year, a gay math major calculated that at the present rate that these condoms were being distributed over half of them would expire before they could be used. So, the LGBT group thought up the BULK CONDOM GIVEAWAY and opened it up to the straight community as well. Flyers went up all over the place, with extras sent to the frat houses, containing phrases like “GET THEM NOW WHILE YOU CAN” and “DON’T BE SHY” and “WE HAVE TOO MANY!!!” The first men apologized and quietly shut the door, but after that, the meeting was constantly interrupted with a barrage of people.

“Just looking for the condoms.”

“Where are the freaking condoms?”

“Really hate to bother you but there’s supposed to be, like, a room full of condoms somewhere on this campus.”

In the end, Jensen had to hastily scrawl a note on the door: “BULK CONDOM GIVEAWAY IS ONE FLOOR DOWN, DIRECTLY BELOW THIS ROOM.” It completely dwarfed his very tasteful “IN NO RUSH” sign, but what could you do?

Jensen checked his watch; they only had fifteen minutes left. But at least the new members could still get to know each other. 

“So Rachel, Tom, Alona, and D.J., why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourselves and what you want to accomplish in this group.”

“Hi, I’m Rachel. I’m a freshman, prospective psych major and I recently came out to my family. Attending this group is one of the reasons why my parents agreed to let me stay in school. They found it on the school activities website. It was either this or a prayer group. So you know, I want to stay in school.”

Tom said, “I’m a junior, played the field just like Jensen here . . . went through a bad break-up two months back—bad, bad breakup. I am not looking to get back out there anytime soon. I’m looking for like-minded individuals who feel the same way. I thought if it got too bad, we could relieve the pressure ourselves—between us, the people in this group.” 

“Hi, I’m Alona Tal. I’m a junior, cheerleader, and an RA. I’m also straight but I really liked the idea of this group so here I am.”

D.J. looked nervous. His eyes kept darting toward the door. Finally he started to speak, “Listen man, I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you before, but there didn’t seem to be a right time.”

Jensen narrowed his eyes. “You’re here for the bulk condom giveaway, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I thought we had to listen to some sex talk to get them, but I like your message—thanks for sharing.” And he quietly left the room.

So in the end Jensen was left with Rachel, a girl who was only here because her parents made her; Tom, a guy trolling for single gay men who thought an orgy between members would be an okay default; and a straight cheerleader. Jensen sighed. He would take what he could get.

“Okay, then,” he said with as much cheerfulness as he could muster, “Next time the topics will be alcohol and weed, not your friends when it comes to abstinence.”

“Will either of those two things be available for consumption?” Tom inquired.

Jensen grabbed his index cards and headed for the bar.

 

* * *

 

Jensen couldn’t understand why the campus bookstore was open until 10p.m. No one was buying last minute books and since the café closed at 8p.m. most people at this point had headed over to the student union for food. Yet here he was stuck at another closing shift on a Tuesday night when he had a 9a.m. class on Wednesday. At least he was allowed to study when it was slow. He was so engrossed in his comparative literature textbook that he did not see Jared enter the store. 

Jared had headed into the store for some paper because his printer had run out and, as usual, he had left it for the last minute. When he saw Jensen studying so intently, he decided to do something to lighten the mood and make up for previous awkward situations. He took one sheet out of the package of paper he was about to buy and retreated to an aisle in the back to work on his masterpiece.

Jensen thought he heard something going on in the back of the store. When he looked around he only noticed James the night janitor getting an early start in aisle nine. 

Jared, however, was growing more excited by the second, because he had also discovered the intercom system and as luck would have it--a microphone. He quickly formulated a plan that would have Jensen laughing and forgiving him for sure. At the same time, it would leave no doubt that Jared wanted to get into Jensen’s pants, sooner rather than later. Jared was no artist, but for this he didn’t need to be. He finished drawing and moved into his first position. He folded the paper into an airplane and aimed it at Jensen, who never saw it coming.

Jensen was startled by the flying object, which hit him right in the forehead. He knelt down to pick up what he now recognized as a paper airplane and he blushed as he stared at the crude stick figures representing him and Jared in various sexual positions. Let’s see, there was regular fucking, oral sex, and rimming—all with him on the bottom. His cock gave a little twitch at the possibility of Jared doing all those things to him. Luckily, Jensen recovered quickly, and embarrassment turned to anger as he sought out Jared in the store.

“Padalecki, I know you find this amusing, but I don’t. Get a life and get out of here.”

A voice rang out over the intercom, “Jensen Ackles, please report to aisle five so that we can discuss how good we could be together and so that I can ask you out on a date.”

Jensen groaned as he made his way to the requested area of the store. “I cannot believe I have to put up with this shit. No student job is worth this. Jared, I’m not kidding. I’m tired and I have a test tomorrow, and no amount of doodling is going to make me have sex with you.”

“You might change your mind, when you hear this,” Jared said confidently.

“No Jared, do not start to sing again. I don’t think I can take it!”

_“Listen baby!”_

“Oh, shit.”

_“Ain't no mountain high,_  
Ain't no valley low, ain't no river wide enough baby  
If you need me call me no matter where you are” 

“That’s the whole point! I didn’t call you! You stormed in here and somehow rigged up a microphone to the intercom system. What are you, an ex-roadie?”

Jensen was going to die of embarrassment, because right at that moment the little bell dinged and Chris and Aldis entered the store. He had forgotten his friends said they might be stopping by at some point to relieve him of some of his boredom. Well, that was no longer necessary.

_“No matter how far; don't worry baby_  
Just call my name; I'll be there in a hurry  
You don't have to worry,” 

“Jensen, you really have to get the radio fixed in here. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a more bizarre version of this song,” Chris complained, drawing his hands up to his ears in disgust.

_“Oh Jensen there ain't no mountain high enough,_  
Ain't no valley low enough,  
Ain't no river wide enough  
To keep me from getting to you babe.” 

“Yeah, and since when did they personalize the lyrics? That was your name I heard, wasn’t it?” Aldis crowed, finally placing the voice. “Oh no, this has to be the young man we saw at the bar before school started.”

Jensen had finally gotten to the intercom switch and shut it down. Unfortunately, at the same time, he also tripped the main circuit breaker for the store, plunging all of them, including James, into complete darkness.

“Jensen, I know you wanted the kid to stop singing, but was this really the best plan. Don’t you have emergency lights or something? And what’s that annoying beeping noise?” Chris asked

“Damn, the alarm! Jared, I swear I am going to kill you.”

“Maybe we could discuss that over lunch. My number is on the back of the note I sent your way, and I left money on the counter to cover the paper. See ya!” Jared said gleefully as he brushed past them and ran out the door.

“You know, I’m beginning to like him.” Chris chuckled.

Jensen had blindly made his way back to the counter, had located a flashlight, and was now on the phone with his boss trying to explain why he had tripped the circuit breaker and the alarm. He was also wondering what he had to do to get Jared Padalecki out of his life for good.

 

Jensen continued to avoid Jared whenever possible. Jared was trying everything to apologize to Jensen for the store incident—phone calls, texts, buying Jensen his favorite mocha latte. Jensen thwarted him at every turn, blocking his calls, changing his number, and whenever he saw Jared coming even with his favorite beverage, he turned tail in the opposite direction. This weekend Jensen even sought refuge in the girls’ dorms. It made Jared feel terrible and unwanted, because yes he was attracted to Jensen, but now he thought that friendship would be pretty cool, too. He had Chad but hadn’t managed to make a lot of other friends and he was feeling a bit—well, lonely.

One night Jared was on his third beer when a fantastic idea came to him. He needed to talk to Jensen like now and explain everything—his needs, fantasies, his virginity. He tried to communicate this urgency to Chad.

“I know where he’s staying—at Danneel’s dorm.”

“Jay, you go over there and you have officially crossed over into stalker territory.”

“No, I haven’t. I haven’t even touched him and I just want to look at him, talk to him, ask him out—as friends.”

“As friends?” Chad questioned one eyebrow raised.

“Yes, definitely, a friend’s date, going out as friends. Well, you know, exploratory stuff. With conversation.”

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” Chad shook his head.

It took them forty minutes instead of the fifteen it would usually take to get to the quad. Danneel’s dorm was all girls and sleepovers with boyfriends were strictly forbidden, but most RA’s turned a blind eye if they knew the guy, and everyone knew Jensen. 

Jared was a bit wobbly on his feet, which was the main reason for their delay. Chad also tried to slow them down a bit, trying to get Jared to sober up so he would forget this whole thing.

“Jay, he obviously doesn’t want to go out with you so why do you keep at it and subject yourself to more rejection?”

“I don’t know, man. It’s something I see in his eyes sometimes. Like if it were just the two of us on the planet, no judgment from anyone else, he would take me up on every offer. I have to keep trying.”

“Well, do you have a plan once we get there? Because, I have tried on more than a few occasions to get into this dorm.”

“That’s because you always tried to go through the front door. We’re gonna try a slightly different approach.”

“I already don’t like the sound of this.”

Jared made his way to the side of the building where a tall oak tree stood. Once, when he was trying to get near to Jensen, he had overheard Danneel saying that’s how she snuck guys in, that she had used her status as a senior to choose the room exactly for that purpose. He didn’t want to get into the room. All he wanted was a peek and if Jensen was awake, to signal to him to come downstairs so maybe they could have a conversation. It all made sense in his semi-drunk brain. 

Jared jumped up to grab one of the lower branches but missed. Chad grabbed his arm at the elbow before he could try again.

“Jay, this is a seriously bad idea. What, is her room on the third floor?”

“No way, that would be dangerous. Danneel lives on the second floor.”

There was such hope and wonder in Jared’s eyes that even Chad could not deny his friend his intoxicated tree climbing exploits.

“Okay then, but at least let me give you a leg up.”

“Thanks, Chad, you’re the best,” Jared said smiling.

Once Jared was actually in the tree, he immediately sought the closest window on the second floor. He carefully made his way, hand over hand, on one of the sturdier branches, which still shook and cracked a little under his weight. Jared looked in the window; what he saw took his breath away.

Jensen was alone and asleep in Danneel’s bed, softly snoring. He was splayed out, the top sheet just covering his crotch, but his chest and left leg were exposed. Jared couldn’t help himself. The desire poured out of him and he started babbling.

“I want…oh, I want so badly to lick Jensen and taste him all over. I want to run my hands up Jensen’s thighs and get my mouth on his. . .” 

“Jay, I am hearing this! You are speaking out loud! Shut the hell up!”

Well, he might as well confess everything.

“And I want—to suck on his toes.” Jared squealed.

“Eww, that’s disgusting.” Chad spit on the ground. “Don’t make me come up there.”

“I want to ruffle his hair and explore his mouth with my tongue.”

“La la la la,” Chad sang while covering his ears.

“Look at his perky nipples. It looks like he’s cold in there. I would warm him right up. Rub up against him until he’s nice and toasty.”

“Okay that’s it! I’m stopping this before it goes any further. We’re going back to our dorm.”

Chad swung himself up, scooted up the branch, and began to tug at Jared’s leg. 

“Get down—come on, you are too drunk to be doing this shit right now.”

“And then I’d flip him over and lick my way up his body until I got to his tight little . . .”

“Finish that sentence and you can find a new best friend,” Chad said firmly.

“Chad, he’s right there. Right in front of me and I want him so badly but he hates me sooo much. I’ll never get to be with him now. And you want the truth, all that other stuff would be great, but I mainly want to cuddle—just hold him, you know.” Jared let out what could only be described as a cross between a howl and a sob.

“Jesus Christ, don’t cry, Jay.” Chad cried out in alarm, “You’re making the branch sway and it really can’t take both of our weight!

The branch started to sway with each sob that Jared let out. Chad panicked and abandoned his friend for safer ground. But when he jumped from the tree it caused the branch that Jared was on to buck in the opposite direction, sending Jared flying and the tree branch crashing into Danneel’s window.

Simultaneous sounds were heard from the room above and the ground below.

“Jesus Christ—what the fuck!” Jensen exclaimed as he shot out of bed.

“Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!” Jared yelled as he clutched his shoulder as he rolled around on the ground.

“Where are my shoes? Oh fuck, there’s glass everywhere. Danneel is going to kill me! Padalecki, I just know this has something to do with you!”

“Chad, I think I broke my arm or it’s sprained, or I broke it—everything hurts.”

Chad tried to pick up his friend as Ackles finally came downstairs wearing a silk bathrobe with little hearts on it.

“Jared Padalecki, you are a dead man; you little pervert. What were you trying to do, sneak in so you could attack me while I was sleeping?”

“No, no I just was watching you. . .from a distance”

“Right, because that’s not creepy at all.”

“He was actually going to try to talk to you and apologize if you were awake,” Chad said, defending his friend.

From off in the distance they could hear the tinny wail of more than one campus security vehicle.

“Yup, that’s right,” Jensen said with a smug smile on his face. “You are so busted this time. Stay the fuck away from me.”

Chad had finally managed to get Jared on his feet. Jared was looking mournfully at Jensen while still gingerly cradling his injured arm. By now a larger number of students had heard the commotion and the ensuing argument, and a crowd of women had gathered just outside the dorm.

“Hey, Jared,” Sandy, a girl from one of his classes, said sweetly, “Are you okay?”

“Hi Sandy,” Jared sniffed. “Yeah I’m alright. It’s just. . .”

“He was watching me sleep!” Jensen said incredulously. “That’s stalking. How do none of you see it?”

“Maybe if you let him explain himself and got to know him. . .” Chad said.

“I don’t want to get to know him. That’s the whole point. He’s been nothing but an annoyance to me.”

Jared just hung his head in shame.

“That’s a little harsh, Ackles.”

“What exactly is going on here?” Cliff Klosterman, the head of campus security bellowed into the night.

The crowd parted for him as he made his way to where Jared and Jensen were standing.

“Mr. Ackles, hello, can you explain how you find yourself dressed only in boxer shorts and a silk robe, apparently sleeping overnight in the women’s dorms?” Cliff asked.

“How am I getting in trouble here? I called you because Neanderthal over here has been following me around. So I came to stay in my friend’s room to get some peace. Then he,” Jensen said gesturing towards Jared, “tried to break into the room to get to me.”

“He wasn’t going to open the window. He just wanted to look at you for a minute . . . while you were sleeping,” Chad shot back, deflating after he realized how that sounded. 

“Because that’s not creepy at all,” Cliff muttered.

“Exactly,” Jensen said.

Cliff turned towards Alona, “You’re the head RA here. Did you okay Ackles to sleep here?”

“No, he must have gotten by me and had one of the other girls smuggle him in.” She mouthed “I’m sorry” to Jensen while Cliff wrote that down in his notebook.

“Please try to be more vigilant in the future. I know it’s a big dorm but that way incidents like this can be avoided,” Cliff stated. “I’ll have to write up a full report and you’ll both be called in by the Dean of Students to talk about this. Mr. Ackles, I think you’ll get off with a warning. But Jared, I expect you’ll have to stay away from Mr. Ackles from now on. We take transgressions like this very seriously, no matter what the gender.”

“Yes, sir,” Jared said dejectedly. He had sobered up, the pain and the trouble he was in now caused him to face harsh reality.

“Wait—I’m officially getting in trouble for this. How is that fair?” Jensen protested.

“You still broke the rules.” Cliff said. “But as you had a good reason, and the permission of your friend to stay at her place, it won’t go on your record unless you do it again. Right now, we are all tired and my top priority is to get Mr. Padalecki to health services so they can take a look at that arm. I suggest that you go back to your dorm and everyone else disperse and go back to sleep.”

Jensen started to leave but flashed one more venomous glare in Jared’s direction before stomping back inside.

Jared looked at Chad like he was about to start crying all over again. Chad patted his friend on the back before climbing into the security vehicle.

“Come on Jay, it’s been a long night.” 

 

* * *

 

Jared’s injury turned out to be just a sprain. But as luck would have it, his family was due to come up on the next weekend and his arm was still in a sling. When Jared’s parents asked him how he got injured, he lied and said he fell while playing basketball. Lunch on family day was a subdued affair with the Padalecki’s trying to make small talk while an uncharacteristically quiet Jared picked at his food. By the end of the meal, Jared’s mother had enough and pulled Jared’s brother aside.

“Just talk to him. You two have always been so close,” Jared’s mom pleaded. “Your father and I both have been trying to get him to talk. I don’t even recognize the boy I sent off to school. First he sprained that arm, and I think he lost a lot of weight. I want to push him into the car and take him home.”

“Okay, Mama, I’ll find out what’s wrong.”

“And make it better.”

“And make it better,” Jeff repeated with confidence.

So Jeff went to find Jared so he could help fix whatever was wrong.

“I have to say, little brother, I’ve seen you look better.”

“Jeff, I don’t need your bullshit caring routine right now.”

“Well, tough, because you’ve got mama worried, dad worried, and dark circles under your eyes. That’s enough for me to start asking questions. So why don’t you save us some time and tell me what’s up?”

“I, I like someone and he can’t stand me.”

“Come on Jared, you—unlikeable? Everybody likes you. It’s been annoying for my whole life, actually.”

“We, uh, had a misunderstanding in the beginning of our acquaintance. I was really attracted to him as soon as I met him. So I went after him hard and after a few incidents where I tried get him to notice me, which, I swear, spun out of control on their own—he now has the campus equivalent of a restraining order against me.”

“Jesus, Jared what did you do?”

Jared explained about the karaoke, the bookstore, and the tree. As he told the stories to his older brother, the only other person he could trust besides Chad, he realized how crazy his behavior might have seemed to a sane person like Jensen. Jeff listened with an almost sympathetic look on his face. It was only when he revealed the lie that Jared told Jensen about his own experience that Jeff’s expression morphed into one of disdain.

“You mean you basically got information second hand, threw his past in the guy’s face and lied about your own. Yeah, I think you dug yourself a pretty big hole there, Jay. You acted like an immature brat. I don’t know if I would want to have anything to do with you after that.”

“I know, I know, alright. I fucked up. But I would do anything to go back and do that part over. He won’t listen to me. I can’t even approach him without getting into trouble.”

“You can’t. But I can, right? What does mama always say?”

“That we’re stronger together. That sometimes it takes more than one Padalecki to solve a problem.”

“Alright, where can I find this guy?”

“His name is Jensen Ackles and he’s probably hanging out at the bar near the west side of campus.”

“It’s 3pm Jay, I’m not going over to a bar to try and fix you up with an alcoholic.”

“His friend works at the bar. Jensen hangs out there, helps out a bit. He’s not a drinker. And I don’t want you to fix me up. I don’t expect anything right now. I want the chance to start over, so I can get to know him.”

Jeff took Jared’s car, and drove to the bar with the directions stored on the GPS. Since it was still afternoon, only a few locals sat at a handful of tables. At the far end of the bar, the bartender was laughing and joking with a well dressed, attractive man who looked like he could be out of college already or in the pages of a magazine.

“You sure don’t make things easy Jay, do ya?” Jeff muttered to himself.

The two men took a look at him and grew wary. Jeff knew he could look intimidating at times, so he smiled pleasantly and took the direct approach. Ignoring the bartender for a moment, he reached out his hand and said, “Hello, I’m Jeff Padalecki, Jared’s brother.”

Chris spoke first, “Yeah well, Jensen doesn’t want to talk with you and Jared is supposed to stay away from him. So why don’t you turn around and spend family day with your family.”

“Chris, it’s okay. Let him speak with me, alone. I’m sure he doesn’t even want to be here.”

“You’re right. I do want to get back to my family as soon as possible.”

Chris’ gaze shifted back and forth between the two men. “I’ll go get ready for the evening rush. But Jensen, you know where I am if you need me.”

Jensen gave a two-fingered salute to Chris and turned to face Jeff. “So, tell me what you want to tell me, and we can both get on with our day.”

“Jensen, have you ever done anything stupid, anything you were ashamed of?” Jeff asked.

“I’ve never repeatedly sought the attention of someone who told me no over and over again. I’ve never stalked anyone. Did you come here to defend your brother’s behavior, because I’ve got to say that approach will not get you very far with me.”

“No, I was real disappointed when my brother told me what he had done. He was raised better than that and he knows it.”

“Are you sure that he even told you everything?”

“Mr. Ackles.”

“Jensen.”

“Jensen, my brother doesn’t lie to me. But he lied to you.”

“What, he doesn’t want to get into my pants?”

“No, that part was true. I’m talking about the part where he truly was a fool. The part where he insulted you and made up lies about himself and his so-called experience because he thought that was what you wanted to hear.”

“You mean he didn’t date the entire basketball team in your hometown?”

“Nope, Jared was involved in the GSA and most people knew he was out, but he didn’t date, didn’t even go to the prom with a boy or girl.”

“Well, congratulations to him. Now I can add liar to the list of unpleasant things I associate with your brother. Thank you for coming.”

“Are you always this much of an asshole?”

“Hey, I was minding my own business, going to school, working at my job. Your brother was the one who made my life difficult.”

“Well, I came here for two reasons. One was to try to get you to lift the keep-the-distance order on Jared. He doesn’t need that kind of pressure on him. He made some mistakes; he won’t do it again. The other though, was to check you out, because my brother has it in his head that if he could get a chance to get to know you as a person, you guys might end up being really good friends. I’m glad I was able to do this, because now I don’t want you around my brother. Jay’s been punishing himself because he doesn’t think he’s good enough for you. But guess what? You aren’t good enough for him. He’s got a big heart. If you took two seconds to look underneath all the bravado, you would see he’s just a good kid with a crush, and you are crushing him with your disgust and rejection. He might not have gone about things the right way, but you sure as hell haven’t either. Have a good day, Jensen.”

After speaking his peace, Jeff walked quietly out of the bar. Judging by the shocked look on Jensen’s face, Jeff knew he had given the other man something to think about. When he got to his brother’s dorm room, he knew it wasn’t enough. Jay looked at him with hopeful eyes. He knew within seconds that Jeff hadn’t been successful.

“I’m sorry, little brother. I think you’ll have to find someone else.”

“What if there is no one else, Jeff? What if he’s it for me?”

Jeff had no answers this time, so instead he said. “Come on, mama and dad want to take you to dinner.”

“But, I feel like we just had lunch.”

“Yeah, I know, but you didn’t eat any of that, did you? So let’s get some pizza and you eat like three slices or I swear to God, Jared, they will make you get in the car and come home with us.”

“Okay, okay, I got it,” Jared huffed out, “And Jeff?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for trying. It means a lot to me.”

 

* * *

After his family left, Jared went about his business for the next few weeks, attending classes and even getting involved in some social and charitable activities, a just-for-fun basketball league and volunteering at a local pet shelter. He stayed away from anything LGBT on campus to avoid seeing Jensen, and keep in compliance with the order from the Dean. So he was surprised to see Jensen waiting for him outside his dorm room one morning, hands in his pockets and giving him a slight smile, almost as if it were against his will.

“Um, Padalecki, Jared, I just wanted you to know that I told the Dean that you didn’t need to stay away from me anymore, and that you shouldn’t have to have the incident on your permanent record. So, I don’t know if they’ll listen to me, but I wanted to let you know.”

“But why?” Jared spurted out.

“After talking to your brother, I thought that maybe you deserved a clean slate. We all make stupid mistakes from time to time.”

Jared hung his head. “I seem to make them all the time. Jensen, it’s time I came clean. I don’t have any experience in love or sex. I’m really sorry about all the stuff that happened. I never wanted to cause you that much trouble. Please believe that.”

“Well, I know that there’s probably more to you than what I’ve seen. Maybe we could even hang out together sometime—not on a date,” Jensen quickly added.

“Okay, yeah, that would be cool.”

“A bunch of us are going to watch that intramural basketball game on Tuesday, if you want to go with us.”

“I can’t.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Because I’m playing in it. I joined that league.”

“Oh,” Jensen seemed relieved, “Then I’ll watch you. I mean watch you play.” Jensen said embarrassed. “Then we can head over to the bar for a drink after the game.”

“That sounds great! I’m looking forward to it,” Jared said with a little too much enthusiasm.

“See you around, Jared,” Jensen said as he turned to go. 

And damn if he wasn’t grinning.

 

* * *

Jensen and his friends showed up at the game, which Jared’s team won by twenty points, and he and Jared hung out with Jensen’s friends that night. Jared tried to play it cool, but it was clear he was seeking Jensen’s forgiveness and approval. He so badly wanted to be a part of the man’s life. Jensen saw a new side to Jared as they swapped stories of their Texas childhoods over a few beers. The next few weeks saw them hanging out together more at the bar and every time Jensen had to work late at the bookshop, Jared often appeared just in time to walk him home. Jensen found that he looked forward to those walks more than any other time of the day. Jared was filled with energy and wonder, talking about everything he was learning in his classes and hilarious stories about helping out at the pet shelter. He was a pretty good listener, too. Even though Jensen wasn’t as vivacious as Jared, he always felt that Jared was interested in what he had to say.

 

It was on one of these walks that Jensen suddenly declared that he was hungry. He had actually skipped lunch because he was late for his shift. Jared was always hungry so they ended up at an all night diner eating fluffy golden pancakes and crisp fried bacon.

Jared actually had an extra side of bacon, and after washing everything down with a couple of iced teas, smiled shyly and said, “Hey, this is sort of a date.”

“What!” Jensen stared at Jared for a minute before shoveling a forkful of pancake in his mouth. He swallowed thickly, “What do you mean? How?”

“Well, we’re here, alone, in a restaurant. I like you, you like me. We’ve been spending a lot of time together just the two of us. Food is good. Conversation is good. You’ve been flirting with me a little bit. If someone were observing us, from afar, they might think we are on a date. Of course it could just be my overactive imagination,” Jared mumbled. He looked down at his own plate with interest but there were only a few crumbs left that he shifted around with his fork.

“Do you want to be on a date with me?” Jensen asked, not quite believing that after all they had been through, they were ending up here.

“That’s all I’ve ever wanted from the very beginning. Well, not all. But it was where I wanted to start.”

“Then, okay. We can be on a date.” And the crinkly smile was back in Jensen’s eyes.

“So, we’re almost boyfriends.”

“Don’t push your luck.” 

After that Jensen noticed a few changes in both his and Jared’s behavior. Jared would often rest his hand on the small of Jensen’s back. And Jensen could not seem to resist tousling Jared’s hair, putting him in a mock headlock or whacking him on the back. Sure, all of Jensen’s touches were of the thirteen-year-old boys will be boys variety but that was because he was trying to refrain from jumping Jared and ravishing him silly. The point is that his hands were coming in contact with Jared’s body more and it was driving him crazy. Jensen’s self-love sessions increased exponentially with Jared occupying a starring role in every one.

And Jared seemed to know how to make Jensen laugh—at himself, which hadn’t happened in a long while. They often found themselves doubled over with laughter at the stupidest things. Mike and Aldis asked him on more than one occasion when he was going to stop drinking the happy juice. 

Jensen knew he had finally lost it when he caught himself whistling Mercy Mercy Me in the shower one morning, prompting Chris to shout out, “Dear God what is that sound? I’m gonna come in there after you, Ackles, if you don’t quit it.” 

Things were going so well, that Jensen was caught off guard when Jared casually mentioned, “Maybe, I should go to one of these meetings that you keep talking about. I know you’re proud of what you are accomplishing there, and as your boy—I mean the person you’re dating, I want to see what they’re like.”

“I don’t know, they’re nothing special. You might get bored.”

“I’m in no rush.” Jared giggled, “See what I did there. You let me know when I should show up.”

Jensen put it off as long as he could. The truth was that the meetings were the only things that kept him from going further with Jared, and he wasn’t ready for the two parts of his life to mix. Jensen often had his hands full during the discussions. He wasn’t sure that Tom was refraining from any sexual activity, to be honest. Rachel only seemed interested in maintaining her GPA. Alona listened to Jensen’s concerns about his new relationship and contributed some helpful tips. She also unfortunately had a tendency to relive her previous relationships in detail. Jensen was afraid that if Jared came to one of these meetings, he would last half an hour and bolt—right out of Jensen’s life. Still, Jared had a point, keeping him out of the discussion group was a little childish. 

“So 4:30 right, I’ll be there!” Jared said, his smile bright.

For once, everyone was on time, the topic that day was one they had been dancing around since the beginning, “Why should two people who care about each other, and are mutually exclusive, wait before becoming intimate? How long should they wait?”

Jensen was prepared to offer his initial remarks like always, and then have Alona chime in with supportive comments, when Jared began to speak.

“I don’t think that a couple needs to wait all that long to have sex after declaring their mutual love for each other. When it’s right, I think they’ll know.”

“Jared, the whole point of this discussion group is that waiting for as long as possible before having sex can make the relationship much more meaningful and lasting in the long run.”

“I thought that this was a group formed to discuss the topic, not that it was decided already.”

“If you would have been here for our other meetings, you would have seen that our members have learned the hard way, from experience, that a quick and easy fuck leaves many of us empty and yearning for true fulfillment.” Even as he said the words, Jensen felt it was something his father would say.

“So because, I’m a virgin, I can’t possibly be right?” Jared looked hurt and Jensen immediately regretted having Jared come to the meeting, because he wanted to make Jared feel better but he couldn’t retreat from his stance.

“No, that’s not what I meant.” Jensen looked down at his index cards as if the resolution to this mess was printed on them.

“You’re a virgin?” Tom said, licking his bottom lip.

Oh, this was getting better and better. Tom becoming interested in Jared was the final step in lighting Jensen’s short fuse.

“You’re acting like sex leads to the end of a relationship. What if it’s a new beginning? What if what is shared during that act creates a new foundation of closeness and trust between two people?” Jared offered.

“That’s beautiful,” Rachel said wistfully.

“I want that,” Alona happily sighed.

“It’s too much of a risk!” Jensen protested, raising his voice.

“I think virgin boy has a point,” Tom said.

“Thank you!”

“Are you doing anything after the meeting? I would love to discuss these ideas in detail with you,” Tom added.

Jensen was done. Tom making an overt move on Jared was the last straw. He had to put a stop to all of this; frustration overrode rational thought.

“Jared, haven’t you learned anything about what I want, about who I am? I’ve changed. I can’t give you what you want. I don’t know how to deal with you right now.”

“Jesus, I was only giving my opinion. I didn’t know we were deciding the future of our relationship. I guess I get why you didn’t want me to come to the meeting. I’ll leave so you don’t have to deal with me anymore. I must be such a young, stupid, inexperienced burden to you. I can’t believe you put up with me for so long,” Jared said bitterly.

Jared tore out of the room. Jensen started to run after him, but let him go in the end. He had no idea what he would have said if he managed to catch up. He tried to call Jared after he had calmed down a little. Jensen started to panic and tried Jared’s cell, again and again. It went right to voicemail every time. After a while, Jensen became paranoid, even going so far as to imagine that Jared would be tempted to take Tom up on his offer. He decided he was better off alone; relationships were too much work.

 

Jared waited a week before he entered the bar early on a Friday evening. He saw Kane right away and gave a half-hearted wave before sitting down on one of the barstools. Jared’s hair was slightly disheveled and there were dark circles under his eyes; his mouth looked like it was stuck in a permanent frown, and when he spoke it was in a quiet monotone.

“Hey, Chris. Jensen around?”

“Nope, haven’t seen him for a couple of days.”

Jared nodded. “He might not want to see me right now. We had another misunderstanding. Actually, it was closer to a real argument this time.”

“Maybe you should give Jen a little space. Sometimes he can be prickly and it isn’t anyone’s fault. Can I pour you something? You want to go the quick route with whiskey or nurse your troubles with like four or five beers?”

“Nah, I’ll have some ice water, and hang around a bit, see if he shows up, if that’s okay.”

“Sure, and hey, some of the other guys will probably be around soon.”

Chris busied himself at the other end of the bar leaving Jared alone with his thoughts. But soon Chris could hear a faint tapping and barely make out the latest set of lyrics that Jared was torturing, because he was singing them so softly that he thought no one else could hear. Something was off because every other line was interrupted by a hitch of breath and he wasn’t singing at the pace of the original song.

_“I want you to want me._  
I need you to need me.  
I love you to love me.  
Oooh I’m begging you to beg me.  
I want you to want me.” 

Jared huffed a little before he started in on the chorus, and Chris could see tears running down his cheeks. He was glad no one else was at the bar to witness this somber display, because a sad singing Jared almost broke his hard-wired heart.

_Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you cryin._  
Oh didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you cryin.  
Oh I’m feeling all alone without a friend.  
You know you feel like dying.  
Oh didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you cryin.” 

Chris took pity on Jared, and retreated into the stockroom to make a call. “Jensen, you get your ass over here. Your boy is sitting at my bar, singing Cheap Trick all slow and mournful. It ain’t right!” he said with a little heat. “Now, come over here and fix this damn mess once and for all.”

But when he came back out, Jared was gone. He had pushed in his barstool and had even left a tip for the water. Chris didn’t know what had happened between the two men, but he thought they had been working towards something. And like Jared he thought they might be good for each other, if and when Jensen got his head out of his ass and gave the kid a real chance.

“Shit, why do people always leave my bar just when things could get interesting?” Chris grumbled.

Jensen ambled into the bar with Mike and Aldis about an hour later, eyes bloodshot like he hadn’t been getting much sleep. Chris set four beers out on the bar. They all started drinking while Chris demanded an explanation.

“You look about as good as he did,” Chris exclaimed. “What the hell happened?”

“Jared happened. He tried to take over the In No Rush meeting. I knew the whole dating thing was a ruse to continue his sex agenda. All he wants is to get someone to take his virginity and now he doesn’t even care who does it.”

Mike snorted, “Wait, you’re not even making sense. Have you seen the way that Jared is falling for you now that you are, or were, giving him the time of day?”

“Yeah, well he seemed pretty interested in Tom at the meeting, bringing him around to his point of view. Tom seemed more than attentive to him, too.”

Aldis joined in the conversation, “So, you’re jealous and you dealt with that how, by pushing him away and making him feel like he’ll never get a chance with you?”

Jensen looked around at his closest friends and suddenly felt like he wasn’t on solid ground. Could he have misjudged Jared again?

Aldis barreled on, not sparing his friend’s feelings in the slightest. It was too late for that. “ What exactly did Jared say at the meeting? Which, as I recall, was supposed to be a group discussing how soon two consenting adults should have sex after they get to know each other. You set those parameters, Jen. I thought you wanted people with different viewpoints to come together, not impose yours on them.”

Chris finally put it all out on the table, “If you don’t want him, then you’re going to have to make that clear, because he’s miserable. I get that he took things too far in the beginning, that’s ‘cause he was nervous and he’s young. But now, he’s made his choice and you have to make yours.”

Jensen took a long swallow from his beer and got up to leave. Mike made a move to stop him, but Jensen raised his hands in surrender, indicating that he wasn’t mad or angry. “Just let me go, guys. I have a lot of thinking to do, and I need to do it alone.”

 

* * *

Except when Jensen got to his room, he found that being alone with his thoughts was more difficult than he expected. He kept thinking in circles. He kept imagining Jared’s brilliant smile, his laugh, the electric look in his eyes when he was belting out a Marvin Gaye hit, usually when it was directed at Jensen. He thought about the disaster at the meeting—how jealous he had gotten over Tom’s interest in Jared. How he completely lost control and tried to invalidate Jared’s opinion. And then there were Jensen’s own tangled emotions where Jared was concerned. He thought about him all the time. God knows he desired Jared. Who was Jensen kidding? He had fallen for Jared hard. Finally, were Jensen’s new found principles regarding sex just a wall to keep Jared out, and to keep them both from getting hurt? Jensen knew that there was only one person he could turn to. He pressed the familiar button he had on speed dial. His brother picked up on the first ring.

“Hey Jensen, what’s up?”

“Josh, when did you know that Molly was the one for you?”

“What’s wrong little brother? I thought you were taking a break from any romantic entanglements.”

“I was trying to but someone he, umm, I don’t know how to put it. . .”

“He got under your skin.”

“Yeah, pretty badly.”

“That so?”

“I’m not sure though. I don’t want to make any more mistakes.”

“Jensen, you can’t live like that, because love is all about making mistakes. Trial and error.”

“Can you answer my question? When did you know?”

“Well, we were friends first. Then I started noticing things about her, like how turned on I was when she got all the questions right when we watched a stupid game show. How she looked at me like I was the only person in the room, maybe in the world. How I would always go that extra length just to please her, even ordering ham and pineapple on pizza even though I hated it. But the clincher was when she wasn’t afraid to call me out on my bullshit. Then I knew that I could trust her, because she wasn’t afraid to be her own person and disagree with me.”

“Huh, that sounds like an old Depeche Mode song.”

“Shut up, you came to me for advice, remember?”

Jensen sighed. “I think I fucked up things with this guy and I don’t know if I can get him back. Hell, I don’t even know if I ever had him.”

“Well, you won’t get him with that attitude. What does he like?”

“Big romantic gestures, karaoke, Marvin Gaye songs, and until last week—me,” Jensen replied.

“Tell me more about him and how he got you to be this way. I want to know everything I can about the man who tamed my wild little brother.”

So Jensen spent the next hour talking things over with his brother, sharing the whole story. Some of Jared’s exploits were pretty funny when they weren’t happening to Jensen, and he could recall them with fondness now.

“Jensen, I have an idea. It’s almost foolproof.”

* * *

 

“Jared, you just sit right there, pretty as a picture.”

“Chad, I want to go back to the dorm and hibernate for the whole spring, maybe summer.”

“Jay, please give me ten minutes.”

“No! Whoever you set me up with will never be as good as Jensen! I screwed that up and now I want to wallow until I’ve eaten my entire candy stash, and then I’ll probably throw up—maybe twice. ”

“That doesn’t sound very appetizing, and besides you’ll miss my performance.” Jensen said, appearing out of nowhere.

“Jensen, I wanted to apologize for leaving the meeting so abruptly, and then avoiding you.”

“Jared, I’m the one who should apologize to you. Right now I have something else I need to do.”

“But…”

Jensen placed his finger against Jared’s lips briefly, and then Jared heard the intro to one of his favorite songs, then Jensen began to sing.

_“I’ve been really trying, baby._  
Trying to hold back this feeling for so long.  
And if you feel like I feel, baby,  
Come on, oh Come on  
Let’s get it on.” 

Jared could not believe it. Jensen was singing this song to him? He pinched Chad to make sure he was not dreaming.

“Ow you fucker! Yes it’s real. Now sit down and enjoy this!”

_“We’re all sensitive people with so much to give._  
Understand me, sugar.  
Since we’ve got to be here--  
Let’s live.  
I love you.” 

Jared could hardly contain himself. Jensen declaring his love for Jared? Okay, so it was through a song, a very sexy song. Was Jensen to be believed, or was it all part of an act.? Jared was so busy overthinking Jensen’s intentions, he almost missed the next part.

_“There’s nothing wrong with me loving you!_  
And giving yourself to me can never be wrong.  
If the love is true. Oh baby. Oooohooo” 

Suddenly the whole rest of the bar was chanting—“Let me love you, let me love you, let me love you, let me love you.” Jared beamed. Jensen had apparently set up this flash mob karaoke ahead of time.

_“Don’t you know how sweet and wonderful life can be! Ooohooo_  
I’m asking you baby to get it on with me!  
Oooh Oooh Ooooooh!” 

Jensen grinned his eyes full of mischief as he uttered the next words, making a little pushing motion with his hands, as he sashayed in front of Jared.

_“I ain’t gonna worry!  
Ain’t gonna push, won’t push you baby!”_

 

Jared laughed; this really was the perfect song for them. Also, unlike Jared’s embarrassing off-tune karaoke, Jensen sounded awesome. He could really sing. He climbed up onto the bar using a little step stool. Jared was glad he was taking precautions. But soon Jensen was spinning around and then he hit a wet spot on the bar, and then . . .

 

* * *

 

Jensen woke up about an hour later, with a sizeable lump on the back of his head and the unpleasant realization that he was at health services. Then he heard the best sound ever, Jared’s voice cascading through the curtain. He was talking on his phone. 

“I mean it was so incredible! I wanted to jump him right then! But, he went down so fast and I was so worried. I hope he’ll wake up soon, because we have a lot to talk about.”

“Maybe when ‘he’ wakes up there won’t be so much talking,” Jensen replied.

“Chad, I have to go.” And he shut his phone.

“Jensen, you’re awake! Are you okay? Your head, do you want any meds or anything? I mean, I can get the nurse. Don’t ask for the really good stuff or they won’t give it to you. Did you mean it—the song? It’s okay if it was a joke. I think you meant it because you were sober and I meant my song even though I was drunk.”

“Jared, slow down. You’re making me dizzy.”

“Sorry, I got a little carried away. Do you at least want an ice pack?”

“What I want is to stop wasting time.”

“Okay then I’ll just let you get some rest and come back later.”

“No, I mean I want to stop wasting time when we could be doing other things.”

“Jensen, you’re injured! I can’t take advantage of you right now!”

Jensen tried to stand up. “See I’m all better.” He swayed a back and forth a bit before sitting down. “Maybe I’d better rest for now. But I meant it, Jared. I’m done waiting. Want you as soon as I can get you.”

“We need to get the doctor. When she gives you the all clear, then we can go. And even then you are taking it easy. You scared me, Jensen; you hit your head really hard on the top of that bar.”

“But, I feel fine, better than fine.”

Jensen leaned in and brushed his lips across Jared’s. Jared breathed in sharply as if to steal Jensen’s own breath.

Jensen felt all tingly, and it had nothing to do with his injury. “That was our first kiss,” Jared said in wonder.

“Yeah, let’s see how many other firsts we can check off the list before we’re done today.”

 

* * *

After Jensen got a thorough, in his opinion too thorough, check-up from the doctor on call, Jared and Jensen made it to Jensen’s room in record time. As soon as they arrived, Jared seemed uncomfortable.

“I have to go out somewhere. Don’t worry, I’ll be fifteen, twenty minutes tops.”

“Wait, where are you going?”

“I’ll tell you when I get back.”

Jensen lay on the bed perplexed. Eventually, he started to tidy up a bit and took some of the pain medication he got from the health center. He then sniffed around the room—stuffy, could smell better. He tried opening the windows. Luckily, Jensen owned one candle. It was a present from his mom in the event that he didn’t clean for a while. Unfortunately, the scent was fresh pine.

“Jensen, why does your room smell like car air freshener?” Jared laughed when he returned, choking on the lack of oxygen in the air.

“Fine, see if I try to be romantic ever again.”

“I don’t need a candle, or even clean sheets. I just need you.”

“The sheets are sort of clean,” Jensen shot back.

“See, you’re already ahead of yourself—what are they last Tuesday or Wednesday?”

“Hah, no, Thursday! Because that was the last time . . .” Jensen blushed not finishing his sentence.

“The last time what?”

“The last time I jerked off while I was thinking about you.”

Jared moved towards the bed until he and Jensen were barely an inch apart. “Is that right?” 

“Yeah, I, I came so hard thinking of all the things I wanted you to do to me.”

“What sort of things, Jen?” His breath was hot as he whispered in his boyfriend’s ear. “I can’t fulfill your fantasies if I don’t know what they are.” 

“Fucked me, you fucked me—after fingering me open.”

“You’ll teach me.” Now it was Jared’s turn to blush. “I don’t want to hurt you, and you know I’ve never done any of this before. I mean, I get how to do the first part, opening you up—so hot. But after . . . you have to show me how.”

Jared’s honest words lit up every nerve ending in Jensen. He was starting to drip inside his jeans, and wouldn’t that be embarrassing, shooting off because he was that affected by Jared’s words. He tried for a change of topic.

“Where did you go?”

“Um, the drug store. I got a toothbrush,” Jared said shyly. “And since I’ve never done this before, I wasn’t sure if you had condoms big enough for me. I’m kind of proportional.”

Jensen gulped, and felt the wet spot in front of his jeans grow slightly bigger as another bead of precome slipped out.

“That’s a pretty big bag.”

“Oh, I also got two different kinds of warming lube, and then some soda—I want us both to be sober when we do this—extra fancy nuts, and original Doritos, in case we get hungry. It took me a while to pick out the lube and choose between the many kinds of Doritos they have there. So, sorry, I was gone longer than expected.”

“Original is my favorite kind—of Doritos.”

“I know.” Jared smiled. “I’m gonna go stash this stuff, take a quick shower and then I’m all yours.”

Jensen flopped on the bed. “You’re going to kill me. Is this payback for making you wait all this time?”

“No, this is me trying to be clean for you. I’m really sweaty. I ran all the way there and back.”

“I don’t see the point. I’m going to make you all sweaty again, repeatedly all night long.”

Jared tried to take his shower, but Jensen couldn’t wait. Twenty minutes later he opened the bathroom door. Jared yelped, shampoo and soap all over his body. He rinsed off and Jensen handed him a towel.

“Jesus, you weren’t kidding about being proportional. Okay, enough with the stalling—what’s wrong?”

Jared huffed out a shaky laugh, “I’m nervous that I won’t be good enough. After everything that we went through, I want it to be good, you know.”

“Come here. Kiss me again.”

“No, fair, I am naked and you are fully clothed.”

Jensen stripped out of his jeans, and t-shirt. His boxers were already a bit of a mess at this point. 

“See what you do to me, Jared. How can we not be good together? Plus, as you said, we’re both sober and we’re going to go slow. Now kiss me again.”

Jared kissed Jensen, exploring his mouth while pulling their bodies flush together. For a minute, Jared thought they might have sex propped against the cold tile of the bathroom wall. But then Jensen started to move both of them toward the bed. Jared felt his skin go cold from the shower; he hadn’t done a proper job of toweling off. Jensen laid him down on the bed and covered Jared’s body with his own. In this position, their hardening cocks came in contact with each other, and Jared went from chills to overheated in about thirty seconds. Meanwhile, Jensen was kissing down Jared’s body, his left nipple, his right hip—mouthing wet-hot-suction, teasing and worrying skin in half a dozen places. Jensen was definitely going to bottom here, but he was running the show. When he got to Jared’s cock, he licked his lips and darted his tongue out to taste.

Jared was incoherent, reduced to a babbling quivering mess. How was he supposed to fuck Jensen now, when every fiber of his being was concentrating on not coming? 

“Need your fingers in me now, Jared. I prepped myself a little already, while you were in the shower.”

“Uh, okay, good, that’s good.”

Jared’s heart was pounding in his chest. He had imagined Jensen’s ass before, how perfect, the pink hole, the hot tight channel. He drenched his fingers in lube before pressing one finger in. It slid in easily.

“I can take two—two already, come on—want your cock like yesterday.” Jensen groaned.

Jared moved two, then three in and out of Jensen’s hole, hitting his prostate on the third try.

“Fuck, fuck yes! Ready!” Jensen cried out. “Been waiting, so long, do it Jared. Roll the condom on, lube up, and get behind me.”

Jared did as he was told, scissoring his fingers and pulling out a final time before he lined up his cock. Slowly, he sank in, gripping Jensen’s hips as he bottomed out. Jared was worried since Jensen hadn’t said anything for a few seconds. But then he heard small grunting noises, and then a tiny please.

“Full, so full—please move Jared. Please fucking move baby.”

Jared tried to start slow, but knew he wouldn’t last much longer. He felt like he was burning, every part of his skin, heart, his lungs felt like they were on fire. His orgasm was building so fast, he felt a heady rush barreling through him like a freight train as he picked up speed moving his hips back and forth, his cock reaching as far as he could inside Jensen before pulling back out—again, again, again. Beads of sweat ran down his face catching in the hollow of his throat before dropping down on Jensen’s back. 

“Don’t come, don’t come, don’t come,” he told himself. But soon the battle was lost, “Hahh, fuck, Jensen!” Jared cried as he spilled into the condom. Jensen followed right after. They turned on their sides with Jensen as little spoon. Jared pulled out, and he and Jensen disposed of the condom.

“I want to do that again.” Jared laughed. “Then, I think I’ll take another shower.”

Later, after they had cleaned up and eaten all the snacks, some Chinese take-out and cold pizza, Jensen looked at his boyfriend sleeping next to him. He was filled with an overwhelming sense of contentment. The first call he wanted to make was to Josh, and then his parents, telling them he had finally found what he was looking for. But he had more pressing matters to think about—what was he going to sing for karaoke next Tuesday? Maybe some Otis Redding? He did know two things: he wasn’t going to jump up on that bar again and wasn’t going to let Jared go any time soon. 

Fin

A/N: Songs featured in this fic are:  
“Marvin Gaye” sung by Charlie Puth featuring Meghan Trainor  
“Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” sung by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell  
“I Want You to Want Me” sung by Cheap Trick  
“Let’s Get It On” sung by Marvin Gaye  
And Jensen alludes to “Somebody” sung by Depeche Mode


End file.
